Sunday, September 13, 2015

Why People Cannot Communicate Properly With Each Other

Everyone thinks differently.   You have to be the same size, shape, sex, color, same walk of life, same financial status, and be in the same state of mind as the other person before you understand each other.

If they have a family typically they will see you in a different light if you don't have a family or if you don't go to their church and so on.

Your mouth has to be the same shape, same size, same ear shape, same nose size, and your tone of voice has to be exactly the same before anyone will fully agree with you.

While it may sound ridiculous -- What am I really saying here? People only see things from their own perspective.

In math there are less arguments because there is a standard.  One cannot argue that 2+2 = 4.

But!!!----when adding other variables to an argument----that has no set standards----everything you say can be taken completely out-of-context.  You may mistakenly use the wrong adjective and not realize it.

Even if someone acts like they agree with you they may just be doing it to get along and be liked -- to be more popular but if your unpopular they will more likely walk on you.   And hey why not -- nobody is going to care if they beat up an unpopular person in the corner!

While math is typically interpreted the same way by professors, what you say will be interpreted differently by everyone's ear.

Just remember there's no set standard to communicating with each other and what you say may not always be interpreted by what you're thinking and trying to communicate at the time.

If someone doesn't like you because of prejudiced reasons (race, culture, material status) then the likelihood of communicating with them is even more difficult.  Prejudice people / those that have a dislike for you --- will therefor intentionally take what you say out-of-context.  Predictable behavior patterns by those that prejudge others because of the car you drive, job you have, your education, where you live, your race, and how you live.  Hell if you eat popcorn or rice and they hate popcorn or rice they already have a bias against you.

Then there's ego----a person has to be right or they may think you are making a hidden insult to them, so they take what you say out-of-context to be right and defend their own ego which they believe you are attacking----because of the mere reason a topic has been raised and they must defend their own ego.

When you move your lips you are generally telling someone something---people need to justify your words as either an attack on them or something beneficial as in a compliment.  So if you are not complementing them it is usually seen as some type of attack to our frail human egos.   The more knowledge you have, the more people will take what you say as a put down to them. Even if you are just trying to intelligently communicate.

We have a long ways to go as humans.   The biggest hurdle is communicating and interpreting what people say without jumping to a conclusion.


The iceberg metaphor is often used to explain the psyche's parts in relation to one another.




Freud proposed three structures of the psyche or personality:

Id: The id is the unconscious reservoir of the libido, the psychic energy that fuels instincts and psychic processes. It is a selfish, childish, pleasure-oriented part of the personality with no ability to delay gratification.

Superego: The superego contains internalized societal and parental standards of "good" and "bad", "right" and "wrong" behavior. They include conscious appreciations of rules and regulations as well as those incorporated unconsciously.

Ego: The ego acts as a moderator between the pleasure sought by the id and the morals of the superego, seeking compromises to pacify both. It can be viewed as the individual's "sense of time and place".



Albert Einstein Quotes:

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

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The psychiatrist George Eman Vaillant introduced a four-level classification of defence mechanisms:

Level I - pathological defences (psychotic denial, delusional projection)
Level II - immature defences (fantasy, projection, passive aggression, acting out)
Level III - neurotic defences (intellectualization, reaction formation, dissociation, displacement, repression)
Level IV - mature defences (humour, sublimation, suppression, altruism, anticipation)


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Les Brown (Motivational Speaker)

Les collaborated with John C. Maxwell and The John Maxwell Team for a candid look into the lives of professional speakers called "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".

No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets --- I'm going to make it!  





You have to dig down deep.....  Gut it out, keep on going, again and again and again!  Until you make it happen because you know it is possible.

1. You must have faith.  Judge not according to appearances.  Don't judge your circumstances......the possibilities of your future based upon what you have now...no no no... that's not the real reality there.  It has not come to stay, it has come to pass.

2. No matter how bad it is, or how bad it gets, --- I'm going to make it!


3. Have patients and engage in consistent action.

Sun Tzu Videos

Sun Tzu

I. Laying Plans (The Calculations) (Initial Estimations) (Detail Assessment and Planning)
II. Waging War (The Challenge)
III. Attack by Stratagem (The Plan of Attack) (Planning Offensives) (Strategic Attack)
IV. Tactical Dispositions (Positioning) (Military Disposition) (Disposition of the Army)
V. Energy (Directing) (Strategic Military Power) (Forces)
VI.Weak Points and Strong (Illusion and Reality) (Vacuity and Substance) (Weaknesses and Strengths)
VII. Maneuvering (Engaging The Force) (Military Combat) (Military Maneuvers)
VIII. Variation of Tactics (The Nine Variations) (Nine Changes) (Variations and Adaptability)
IX. The Army on the March (Moving The Force) (Maneuvering the Army) (Movement and Development of Troops)
X.Terrain (Situational Positioning) (Configurations of Terrain)
XI.The Nine Situations (Nine Terrains) (The Nine Battlegrounds)
XII.The Attack by Fire (The Fiery Attack) (Incendiary Attacks)
XIII. The Use of Spies (The Use of Intelligence) (Employing Spies) (Intelligence and Espionage)


I. Detail Assessment and Planning
i.(18) All warfare is based on deception.

i.(17) According as circumstances are favorable, one should modify one's plans.

i.(21)If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.

II. Waging War
ii. (4) Now, when your weapons are dulled, your ardor damped, your strength exhausted and your treasure spent, other chieftains will spring up to take advantage of your extremity. Then no man, however wise, will be able to avert the consequences that must ensue.

ii. (19) In war, then, let your great object be victory, not lengthy campaigns.

III. (The Plan of Attack)
iii. (5) The general, unable to control his irritation, will launch his men to the assault like swarming ants, with the result that one-third of his men are slain, while the town still remains untaken. Such are the disastrous effects of a siege.

iii. (17)Thus we may know that there are five essentials for victory: (1) He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
(2) He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.
(3) He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.
(4) He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
(5) He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.

iii. (18) Hence the saying: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

IV. Tactical Dispositions (Positioning)
iv. (1) Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.
(2)To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
(That is, of course, by a mistake on the enemy's part.)
(3)Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.

iv. (11) What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.

iv. (13) He wins his battles by making no mistakes. Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is already defeated

iv. (19) A victorious army opposed to a routed one, is as a pounds weight placed in the scale against a single grain.

V. Energy (Directing)
v. (2) Fighting with a large army under your command is nowise different from fighting with a small one: it is merely a question of instituting signs and signals.

v. (7) There are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard.

v. (8) There are not more than five primary colors (blue, yellow, red, white, and black), yet in combination they produce more hues than can ever been seen.

v. (9)There are not more than five cardinal tastes (sour, acrid, salt, sweet, bitter), yet combinations of them yield more flavors than can ever be tasted.

v.(10) In battle, there are not more than two methods of attack: the direct and the indirect; yet these two in combination give rise to an endless series of maneuvers.

v. (11) The direct and the indirect lead on to each other in turn. It is like moving in a circle—you never come to an end. Who can exhaust the possibilities of their combination?

VI. (Weaknesses and Strengths)
vi. (1) Whoever is first in the field and awaits the coming of the enemy, will be fresh for the fight; whoever is second in the field and has to hasten to battle will arrive exhausted.

vi. (7) You can be sure of succeeding in your attacks if you only attack places which are undefended.

You can ensure the safety of your defense if you only hold positions that cannot be attacked.

The Art of War and Goal Setting



Zig Ziglar Setting Goals 1 of 3


*the key is to write things down
*a goal does not care who has them - all that matters is that a working formula is followed to success.

John Maxwell - The Secret to Success

*key to know one's purpose in life

John Maxwell - take care of today!

*key to know what to do with today!
*Make important decisions and manage those decisions!
*A decision that's not made can not be achieved.


Zig Ziglar - Attitude Makes All The Difference

*key have a good attitude towards life. Don't make things that are not problems into obstacle.